"My flesh and my heart may fail...

...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Can you believe it? I'm updating twice within the same week! Go me!

But I feel this update is more of a vent session about myself. About my ridiculous spirit that has taken over recently. About the bitterness, hatred, and negativity that has built up in my spirit lately and wreaked havoc.

I don't feel the need to explain the entire situation because I don't feel it would help anyone better understand the situation. Also, I'm pretty sure it would also stir up more sinful emotions in me that are already pretty difficult to ignore. Many of you (because so many read this) probably already know exactly what I am referring to.

Today was the breaking point. It pushed me past the point of trying to ignore it, and toward the point of blatantly sinning. I stewed in one of my classes today, focusing on nothing past this topic, and came out in the worst mood ever. It was all downhill from there. Then I get home, complain to my roommate for a while, and stew even longer.

Then I get online and read the blog of a person that I've never even met. She talked about taking thoughts captive before they take you captive! That was like an arrow through the heart! I have let these thoughts take root in my mind and they were growing into a horrible, tangled mess. And now here I sit diving into the Word to sort all this out.

No specific verse was coming to mind so I go to the concordance in my Bible, which by the way is in Spanish (so then I go pull out my Spanish-English dictionary to find out how "bitterness" translates into Spanish)...and I go to the first verse I see. Psalms 73. So I start reading it, first thinking that this is NOT what I need to hear. And then I get to verse 21. Here's what I read:

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by your right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73: 21-26.

How ignorant of me to focus on this silly thing for so long. My flesh and my heart will ALWAYS fail, but God will ALWAYS be the strength of my heart forever. You can rest on that fact, my friends!